


Murder She Wrote

by Phayte



Series: YOI Ship Bingo - Rare Pairs [4]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: All the males die, Crack Fic, Drinking, Other, Yuri!!! On Ice Ship Bingo, a lot of drinking, everyone dies, total crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 03:51:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11592369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phayte/pseuds/Phayte
Summary: Milla, Sara and Isabella go on a killing spree - killing ALL the males! They also drink A LOT. Total Crack fic for the Yuri!!! On Ice Ship Bingo





	Murder She Wrote

They had been fast friends-- almost too fast. Milla and Sara went back a few years from skating, but Isabella came through like a storm to their team. It was on their girls trip to Canada they had gotten the idea-- Kill all the male skaters.

Milla and Sara wanted the sport just for women, Isabella just wanted to be a part of it. It was easy, almost too easy.

Since they were in Canada, their first hit was JJ. Isabella felt no remorse. As they all sat to dinner, JJ did not know Isabella had poisoned his wine. Poor JJ was only three bites into his steak when he fell face first into his food. They celebrated that night. Toasting and making sure the poison was discarded, that was not how planned to end their night.

They booked different flights, flew to different countries. Each male had to die.

Leo was simple, almost too simple. He was laid out on a bench with his headphones in his ears when Sara went up to him and strangled him with the cord. He kicked and yelled out, but his life ended quickly. Sara and Isabella clinked their glasses in celebration and enjoyed more wine.

Guang Hong had walked in on them, he was fast but Milla was able to catch him. He was small and tried hard to fight, but Milla was able to snap his neck. Milla felt a slight remorse for that one, Guang Hong was small and stood no chance.

Their next trip was to Japan. They plotted and drank wine the entire trip as they stumbled off the plane. Yuuri was easy. Isabella held his head under the hot springs till he stopped kicking. Victor stepped out and seeing his love dead, drowned himself. They girls refilled their wine glasses and went to find Minami.

Drunk on wine, they found Minami lurking. He was looking for Yuuri. They cornered him and all started to rub against him. Minami unable to control his body, orgasmed and fell over dead. It was too much for his poor body, the orgasm causing a brain aneurysm.

Their next trip was to Thailand. Milla was drinking straight from the wine bottle as they fell off the plane. Phichit was easy to find, he was at the petstore looking at new hamsters. Sara and Isabelle pushed him into the tank of piranhas. They were a little sad two hamsters had found their way into the tank. Milla showed back up at the petstore, her bag lined with wine bottles.

They had a bump in the road as Celestino had cornered them before they got on their next flight. They did not want to kill him, they really didn’t, but Milla had too. The knife slipped between his ribs like butter.

“Such a shame, I had plans for that chin of his,” Milla hiccuped as they boarded the plane and went to Korea.

Surprisingly, Seung gil was waiting for them. On his couch with his dog in his lap. He looked at the three women and shrugged.

“I guess it is my turn,” he said as Isabella tightened the dog leash around his neck till he stopped breathing.

More wine and flight to Sweden- found Chris skiing on the slopes. Sara being a good skier was able to saddle up next to him, and push him off the mountain. Chris wouldn’t be found till spring.

Italy was a drunken blur. All Sara remembers is straddling her brother and we she leaned down to kiss him-- she sliced his throat and listen to him try to call her name out. Milla and Isabella toasted as Sara washed the blood out of her hair.

Afraid to stop drinking, they emptied more bottles as they made their way to the Czech Republic. Emil was sleeping peaceful in bed as all three set his bed on fire. They had to stop and buy new clothing to get the smell off of them, plus Milla had spilled her wine down her blouse.

Russia was easy. Almost too easy. They showed Georgi a video of Anya sleeping with another man. He begged for this death. They covered his face with a pillow till his sobs could not be heard anymore. Milla grabbed vodka and they alternating the wine with vodka.

Their final leg of their tour lead to Almaty. This would not be an easy kill. They rented a car and found Otabek and Yuri on a motorcycle ride through the mountains. They stayed drunk and ran them off a cliff. Pulling the car over, the finished off the vodka as the motorcycle went up on a blaze of glory.

Somehow they managed to find themselves on a yacht, drinking steadily. They toasted for days and days. The wine never seemed to run out. It was a fateful night that found them toasting too hard when the yacht lurched and they all three found themselves tumbling overboard-- never to be found. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I had no idea how to make these three work - so I went with CRACK instead. 
> 
> Please leave a comment or kudos as those fuel me!!! I am on Tumblr and love comments and ask there!  
>   
> [Phaytesworld ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/phaytesworld)  
> Phayte <3


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